Transferring Grad Schools Because of Relationship?
Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 9:37 pm
Hello all,
I am currently a first year grad student at University X. Classes are going well and I am very involved already, but mixed in with the good aspects are a lot of negative ones. I am quickly finding that I am unhappy here and even though it is a top 15 ranked physics program, I find myself wanting a change for a lot of reasons.
One of the reasons why I would like a change (besides my general unhappiness, which is probably better described as not feeling like X is a good fit for me), is my girlfriend. My girlfriend is also a first year physics grad student at University Y, which happens to be very closely ranked (one spot) but also was one of my top two choices of schools (I was rejected). So far she has really enjoyed her time there and seems to be making the most of it. In addition to her attending University Y, I have family and good friends from undergrad in that area. We have been in a long distance relationship for two years now and while things are not at the level of seriousness that would involve career decisions (you all know what I'm talking about lol), we are very committed to each other and are obviously continuing the long distance into grad school.
For anyone who has done long distance before, you understand the predicament…it is very stressful when you are separated from your significant other for long periods of time (you basically get 48 hours every 3-5 weeks if you're lucky) and having this separation lasting indefinitely is very hard to deal with.
My first question: Is a significant other reason enough to transfer grad schools? I know that transferring grad schools is usually frowned upon, but this isn't me doing it because I'm bitter over not getting in, it's because I want to be with this person and don't want to have to be long distance indefinitely (without compromising my own career). I am worried that if I ask the professor that I am doing research for at X for a letter of rec that he will write a bad one because he is insulted or word will spread about me potentially transferring and people will not want to take me as an RA (if he gets rid of me at the prospect of transferring) if I do decide to stay (if I don't get in or something changes)
My second question: What are the odds of "transferring" being successful (transferring is a bit of a misnomer because it would essentially involve me reapplying this year)? As I said before, this is a top school that I was already rejected from once…not much has changed in my application except that I have started to do volunteer work that relates to physics outreach. Is there someone that I should talk to at Y or anything specific that I should do to aid this process?
Anyways, I am sorry for the long post…you can probably tell how much this is stressing me out lol. Thank you for your responses in advance!
I am currently a first year grad student at University X. Classes are going well and I am very involved already, but mixed in with the good aspects are a lot of negative ones. I am quickly finding that I am unhappy here and even though it is a top 15 ranked physics program, I find myself wanting a change for a lot of reasons.
One of the reasons why I would like a change (besides my general unhappiness, which is probably better described as not feeling like X is a good fit for me), is my girlfriend. My girlfriend is also a first year physics grad student at University Y, which happens to be very closely ranked (one spot) but also was one of my top two choices of schools (I was rejected). So far she has really enjoyed her time there and seems to be making the most of it. In addition to her attending University Y, I have family and good friends from undergrad in that area. We have been in a long distance relationship for two years now and while things are not at the level of seriousness that would involve career decisions (you all know what I'm talking about lol), we are very committed to each other and are obviously continuing the long distance into grad school.
For anyone who has done long distance before, you understand the predicament…it is very stressful when you are separated from your significant other for long periods of time (you basically get 48 hours every 3-5 weeks if you're lucky) and having this separation lasting indefinitely is very hard to deal with.
My first question: Is a significant other reason enough to transfer grad schools? I know that transferring grad schools is usually frowned upon, but this isn't me doing it because I'm bitter over not getting in, it's because I want to be with this person and don't want to have to be long distance indefinitely (without compromising my own career). I am worried that if I ask the professor that I am doing research for at X for a letter of rec that he will write a bad one because he is insulted or word will spread about me potentially transferring and people will not want to take me as an RA (if he gets rid of me at the prospect of transferring) if I do decide to stay (if I don't get in or something changes)
My second question: What are the odds of "transferring" being successful (transferring is a bit of a misnomer because it would essentially involve me reapplying this year)? As I said before, this is a top school that I was already rejected from once…not much has changed in my application except that I have started to do volunteer work that relates to physics outreach. Is there someone that I should talk to at Y or anything specific that I should do to aid this process?
Anyways, I am sorry for the long post…you can probably tell how much this is stressing me out lol. Thank you for your responses in advance!