CyberShot wrote:My problem is that I'm not yet fully convinced that there exist ugly things in physics; that it's possible that scientists have been overlooking or not been thinking creatively enough for underlying theories or hidden variables; that things haven't been seen in true light, from the correct angle. I keep pushing myself on, motivating myself, telling myself that nature really is beautiful and predictable. That, if not, there's really nothing to live for or no reason to feel like there's any connection between what makes us human and the universe. That's it, shows over folks! If things are not that way then I'd honestly rather not pursue physics. It just brings me too much pain. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not sure if it's worthwhile to wait and see if things truly are ugly, or save myself future pain and frustration and just stick to computer science.
I find myself, somewhat ironically, in a position similar to Einstein regarding nature and ugliness.
"I find the idea quite intolerable that an electron exposed to radiation should choose of its own free will, not only its moment to jump off, but also its direction. In that case, I would rather be a cobbler, or even an employee in a gaming house, than a physicist.”
Well, I’m not the smartest person in the world; I can easily venture to say as well that I’m not the smartest physicist on this forum, probably not by a long shot either. However, given the brilliant people that have come before me; and those that are working now, well the fact that even they have difficulties is actually comforting. It proves that things get ugly, and that we can’t see the facts and the mathematical relations hidden around us. Why would you want to become a physicist if things were that easy? I can tell you that if everything was nice and neat, if it were possible to simplify the universe into commonly understandable terms, then that would truly make me not want to be a physicist. Things would be boring, if it were only a matter of plugging and chugging then where is the adventure? I find beauty in connecting things, complex things that seem so opposed to one another and yet somehow they have to connect. Sure, broken down to fundamentals things appear simple, but even then they’re not. In the very first physics classes we’re told about charge, about mass, about gravity, simple enough ideas it would seem, but ask any physicist what is charge? We can describe its effects, things that carry it, where to find it, but what it is exactly is really a mystery and that is awesome. Nature is beautiful, and it is predictable, but it is far from simple or intuitive given where we stand. If it were either then our questions about the universe would be easily answered. That’s the issue, the universe is understandable, but as humans it is not neat because we view it from a very narrow perspective and no matter how hard we try many things will always be difficult for us to grasp. Things are ugly, but only because of our nature, the universe obviously has no issues operating as it does which bodes well for our pursuit.
What kept me always motivated was a quote by my favorite professor. He always said to me that if you find something counterintuitive more often than not it is your intuition that is wrong. What I loved so much about that was that it meant being a living human wasn’t enough; you couldn’t just look and see the truth. You needed to bleed, sweat, and cry your way through so much difficulty to find the truth, you needed to change your thinking and challenge your comfort zone. But when you did, when you found the truth, wow is it worth it. That’s the real beauty of publishing original work. For a moment you’ve found something that nobody has ever known and/or proven, and you’re able to share that knowledge with everyone around you. As for Einstein, he may have said that, I’m not familiar with the quote. Still, he was obviously lying. If he wasn’t he would have quit a long time before. To echo those words though, I find many things in physics strange and abrasive to my thinking. However, that just makes me want to change, to understand things, to better myself. In trying to understand the world better I may find another answer or conclude that the one I was looking at was right. In either case, I’ve expanded my knowledge, bettered myself, and feel satisfaction that my life has not been wasted. We live and we die, that’s a fact, why not do something interesting in-between. If you feel that you will live a full life and die happy being a physicists then be one, if you feel the same about computer science then do that, or art, or history. Any path that fulfills you I suggest you fight to travel it, because everything else is just waiting to die.
). Perhaps you'll come back strong, too!
